


Up Again

by Fipsi19



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Implied Destiel - Freeform, Implied Relationships, Implied Sabriel, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 19:08:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2240139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fipsi19/pseuds/Fipsi19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>"Take my life and start it somewhere else,<br/>I breathe in the change the only way is up again" - Up again, Clean Bandit feat. Rae Morris</p>
    </blockquote>





	Up Again

**Author's Note:**

> "Take my life and start it somewhere else,  
> I breathe in the change the only way is up again" - Up again, Clean Bandit feat. Rae Morris

It is a couple nights after christmas and new years, a girl walks into a bar. Not your common bar in the middle of any city, mind you, but the kind of bar that somehow leaves a bad feeling in your guts. A bar a good girl shouldn´t walk in. The bar mothers warn their kids about. The one which has a bad name in town.

 

From the outside the bar has seen better days. The wood is old and the paint is slowly fading, leaving the surface without any protection from the weather. In the parking lot old cars, which have seen a lot of better days, and motor bikes share the space. Although if you look closely, you can spot a single light blue Prius, far away from all the other cars.

Back to the girl. So she walks into this bar, seemingly out of place like a fish out of the water. But still, here she is, walking straight up to the barman sitting down by the bar counter, not noticing the looks she gets from the other barguests. Not that the looks were hidden, but just not caring enough about any of them to notice them. 

„What can I get you?“ the barkeeper asks in a deeep voice, getting her full attention. 

„I don´t suppose you will give me any strong drink.“ A huffed laugh is heard from the man sitting on the barstool beside her, but she just ignores it and keeps talking to the barkeeper „So I guess I just take a coke on the rocks. Seems fit for here, doesn´t it?“ 

„Here you go then.“ Setting the glas in front of her, picking up the pay for it, walking away up to next thirsty customer.

„Missy, I guess you are lost. Seeing you in this kind of a bar. You seem a lot out of place here. Sure you wanna stay?“ the man next to her inquires.

She turns to him, looking at him, smiles brightly at him.„Pretty sure that is none of your damn bussiness, my dear friend, but thank you for your concern. It touches my heart to know that people still care about each other.“

„ Hey...what the hell! Don´t you dare talk to me like that! You don´t even look old enough to be here. Believe me, Missy, a good girl like you shouldn´t be in a place like that. You don´t even know what half of these men are capable of.“ He threathens her or maybe just tries to frighten her into leaving, but just receives another bright smile from her. 

„Oh, let them try. We will see what they are really capable of. Still lovely, your concern, that is.“

„Stupid girl, you should listen to me and leave.“ he mutters before he gets up and leaves her be.

Focusing on her drink, trying to blend out the bar and all its inhabitants, she catches some words from a conversation not far from her. 

“hunters...big animals others didn´t dare to get near to...whole family...brothers“

´Hunters huh,´she thinks ´not that long ago since I last met a hunter.´ 

Thinking back to the hunters meant thinking back to her family, a thought she doesn´t want to make. Nonetheless once started thinking about her past, all her memories come floating to the surface.

 

Some christmases ago, she still likes to think of time like a child. The amount of how long until it is christmas again, that is time for most of them. The year seemingly consist out of before and after christmas. Although the holiday lost its appeal long before hunters were even a faraway though in her mind.

Long before them, shortly after her father lost his job due to an econmical crisis, her whole perfect family vanished due to shortage of money and excess of alcohol. But maybe, maybe even before, maybe her family was never perfect to begin with. Her older brother left home when he was just eleven. He was sent to boarding school, like all the other children in her fathers company, only due to his great academic skills he got to stay there. After boarding school he went to some college far, far away from his family. They never were really close, after all more than six years are a pretty large age gap.  
He never really came back home to visit anyway and after a fight with their father, he stayed away. 

Sometimes she wonders if he ever went looking for her, after she just vanished into thin air.

Never having the chance to go to boarding school meant public school for her. She did have some friends, even a best friend, someone she could nearly tell everything but still didn´t tell her everything. Then the Incident occured and she and all she knew changed. Now she sits all on her own in some strange bar, catching a breath. 

 

The Incident, not even a christmas ago. One would think that the night before the Incident would deserve the capitalisation, but no, the day after was the reason for all this. The night before was a little bit rougher than other nights but not the worst. The scar in her face, invisible if you didn´t know what you were looking for, was a daily reminder for nights far worse.

Anyhow the night before, after a terrible day at school and an accident involving alcohol and stairs, the one for her father the other one for her, was seemingly unimportant to her now. Her bones are mend and her parents are, well she doesn´t really know where they are or how they are. 

Sometimes she feels guilty about never wondering about them. But only sometimes. Most of the time she is far to keen on travelling, never running in her mind. Running let her seem weak, like she is hiding from someone, which she is by the way, but not because she is afraid but because she isn´t what they are looking for. After all, she would know if she was who they were looking for right? She is a nobody, trapped somewhere she never wanted to be and not something special, not some miracle.

 

She looks up to the clock on the wall behind the bar counter. She already spent more than half an hour in this godforsaken bar, somewhere in nowhere.

`Time to move on´she thinks, but doesn´t move. ´A couple more minutes can´t hurt, can they?´ 

So she stays where she is and orders another drink. Perhaps she will stay this time. Let them catch up with her. She can feel them. She feels that they are coming closer with every breath she takes. But she is pretty sure she can still outrun them. No, not outrun them but just walk faster than them. Never running.

 

She notices somebody sitting down beside her. She doesn´t want to acknowledge him out of fear that they would like to talk to her. And she really doesn´t want to talk. Who walks into a bar to talk? Okay, maybe a lot of people do, but she isn´t a lot of people.

Thankfully the person next to her doesn´t seem to want to talk either. He looks tiredly at her, giving her a small smile before he begins to write furiosly on some piece of paper. His hands are black from the ink and his writing seems already very sloppy but it doesn´t keep him from writing. Maybe he is a writer for a living, trying to find inspiration in a bar. Although he seems out of place at first, he seems to be known here. 

The barkeeper brings him one glass of whiskey after another and her neighbor drinks and writes. Another look at the clock shows her that anoher 30 minutes already past. She really should get going.

Suddenly her neighbor stops writing looks at her with something similar of shock but also respect. He gets his phone and writes a textmessage to somebody. But she doesn´t really care. Maybe he just realized somebody is sitting beside him. Stranger things have happened to her, especially recently.

 

Like the Incident.  
So after her father showed her the stairs from a different angle, she dragged herself to bed. Lying down she hoped nothing was broken but she could already feel her ankle sweeling up and a nasty bruise started to form on her forearm. She somehow fell asleep thinking about how she could explain to the school nurse what happened. Not that her schoolnurse didn´t know what really happened. She would help her, give her some bandages for her injuries and another brochure for some hotlines. Not that she didn´t have a whole folder filled with them already. 

When she woke up everything was different. Her whole world was turned upside down. She was lost like never before. Scared like never before. And so relieved to wake up to some different life far away from her home. Maybe the injury was worse than I thought, she could clearly remember thinking that. Glad to be gone. 

 

A noise beside her brought her back to the bar. It seems her neighbor got a text. But he doesn´t break his writing only smiles knowingly like he already knows what the text says.  
However he does break his writing not to look at his text, no he turns to her.

„I am a writer.“ he says with a shy smile. „No, don´t ask what I write, you propably won´t have heard of it or you have and you are a big fan wanting to know what happens next.“  
That makes her laugh out loud. 

„Ok, I won´t ask.Do you always write in bars or just on special occasions?“ She can´t help but say. 

„Not always, but today I had the feeling I would find inspiration in this kind of bar, one could say I had a foreboding. Got into my car and drove here. I am Chuck, by the way.“ He answers, the shy smile still in place.

„Let me guess, you drive a light blue Prius? Nice meeting you Chuck." She holds out her hand for him to shake. " A foreboding, huh? Are you some kind of psychic writer?“ She says with a quick look at the clock. Another 15 minutes have passed. She really should get going. 

„Yes, it was a present. The car, I mean. I think it was more of a joke, but it´s a car. It drives. That´s all that counts right? Not the first time someone calls me a psychic.“ He laughs.

„Yeah I guess you are right. It´s just not the kind of car someone would expect in this kind of enviroment. That sounded more prejudiced out loud than in my mind.“ She says with an apologetic smile. „Anyway I have to go now. It was nice meeting you Chuck.“ She is about to stand up when he starts talking again.

„Oh I didn´t want you to leave. I will be silent now. Please stay, don´t go on my account.“ 

“I didn´t want to leave because of you. I wanted to go anyway. But I guess a couple more minutes won´t hurt, right?“ She says sitting down again. „ But you have to tell me what your book is called, so I can tell you if I am a fan or never heard of it before, deal?“

„Deal. It´s called ´Supernatral´, do you know it? It is a series of 13 books at the moment. I am just writing on book 14.“ 

„Wow, must be popular, but sorry never heard of it. So you can relax, I am no crazy stalker fan“ She says with a laugh. He looks at her with a big grin. 

„ It has a small but somewhat aggressive fan community, so one has to be cautious.“

„ Yeah I guess fans can be scary sometimes, can´t they? Reading between the lines only to convert the plot to their own liking and loose the bigger picture by doing so?“

„You sound like a writer yourself!“ Chuck comments. 

„Me? No! Just talking nonsense, don´t mind me.“ She defends herself. 

„So what brings a girl like you in a place like this?“ He can´t help but ask. She knows he doesn´t mean to be rude just curious.

„Same thing as you. A foreboding“ She tells him with a faked smile.

Maybe he notices her insincerity but he doesn´t comment on it. His phone makes another noise telling him that there is another text. This time he looks at it. He frowns and looks back at her.

„ I am sorry. I gotta make a phone call. Don´t leave I´ll be right back, ok? Just..watch my stuff while I am outside and tell the barkeeper I didn´t bail. Please?“

He looks at her with wide eyes begging her to say yes. In defeat she agrees hoping he isn´t away for to long. He nods at her and leaves to make his call.

A look to the clock tells her that another 10 minutes have passed. She will give him 15 minutes. Maybe twenty but no more. 

Soon she loses herself in another memory.

 

She woke up in a different place than her own bed. ´Maybe I am dead´ she thought but the pain in her ankle and her forearm begged to differ. So not dead but also not at home. Panic started to set in. Worse case scenarios came to her mind, things like kidnapping were floating in her mind. 

She started to look around, looking for something familiar but nothing caught her eye or triggered a memory. 

The room she was in was nothing extraordinary, just a normal room with a bed and a stool and a table but no window. Ok, that was strange. A room without windows was always a bad room. 

She heard muffled voices which seemed to come nearer to her room. Still she couldn´t understand a word they said. Maybe it was a big misunderstanding and they really wanted to kidnap her neighbor. Yeah, not a very nice thing to think but in her situation she really hoped they wanted her neighbor. Her parents didn´t have any money and would surely not notice her missing before, to be honest they wouldn´t probably notice until school called to inquire her missing school. 

Any chance of escape was hopeless seeing her ankle was far worse than the night before and she wouldn´t even make five meters with it. The voices were now right in front of her door. They seemed to argue but still she couldn´t understand a word. Suddenly the door opened

 

„Do you want another drink?“ A voice brings her back to the present. 

„What? Uh...No, thank you!“ She says a little forlorn.

„Are you ok?“ the barkeeper gives her a concerned look. 

„Yeah, just peachy.“ He still looks at her, a little doubtful but walks away. 

She gives Chuck a few more minutes she decides. Maybe something bad happened.

 

The door opened and two men walked in. Both of them looked kind of surprised to see her. Although she doubted that, seeing how they apparently kidnapped her and locked her into the room.

„Are you sure that is...you know who? I mean she doesn´t look like..?“ One said to the other one. 

„I don´t know. But Cas said it was and I believe him. I mean, yes she doesn´t look like but what did we expect? An old man with a long white beard? Come on, no“

„Yeah so sorry to interrupt but clearly you have the wrong person, right? I mean, I am no genius but I am no old man with a white beard. Maybe you mean Mr. Smith, my neighbor. He is older and I think he has a beard although it is not white yet....“ 

Both men looked at her with disbelieving eyes.

„Are you trying to exchange yourself for your neighbor!?!“ One of them said, clearly shocked.

Maybe that wasn´t her best idea. 

„No, I mean yes...maybe? Clearly both of you didn´t expect me! And I know Mr Smith has some money“ 

She tried to get up but her ankle didn´t seem to agree with the sudden weight and she nearly collapsed, only to be caught by two strong arms. 

„Everything ok?“ 

„Oh yeah, just my ankle. It´s nothing I had worse. But maybe you have an icebag?“ She asked hopefully.

„Uhm yeah sure. I thought you couldn´t..“ another disbelieving look was exchanged with the other man who just shrugged his shoulders.

„I will get you one. Right back.“ and with that he left the room leaving her with the other man. He looked slightly uncomfortable.

„I´ll go uhm help him. Yeah.“

And with that he left too. All alone again. In a room without windows. With a swollen ankle.

„Great“ She said out loud.“Just great. Thank you! Really, thank you for my life. It is great. Fucking awesome. First you have to go and fuck up my family and now you go and lock me in some room, guarded by two weirdos. What´s next? For heavens sake, what did I do to you? God please...“

Somebody cleared his throat. „Your icebag!“ he just put the bag onto the table and left the room, leaving in a hurry, clearly embarrassed by what he witnessed. 

„Oh fuck my life“ she groaned.

A couple minutes later voices were heard outside her room/prison cell. The door opened again. This time a third man was with the other two. 

„So yeah..wow this is strange. And I mean we dealt with strange, believe us, but this is bat shit crazy strange. We think, I mean, Cas uh Castiel here“ he pushed the third man who had dark hair and the bluest eyes she ever had seen, a little in front of him „he thinks you are God and can help us stop the apocalypse and go back to heaven to restore it. Easy as pie, right?“ 

She started to laugh hysterically which came close to crying, after realising that they were probably crazy.

„You are crazy. I am no God. I am nobody. Just a teenage girl who just wants to finish high school and leave home, lead a normal life. I am not God, I swear.“ She said between her hysteric laughter. 

„See Cas, wrong person.“

The third man, apparently Cas just shook his head,not speaking one word.

„Maybe we should talk outside“ one of them spoke leading Cas and the other one out.

Again voices could be heard. 

´Crazy fanatics, great´, she thought, lying down again, looking up the ceiling.

 

„uhm, Can we take a look at your ankle and maybe you forearm, it doesn´t look to good either. I am Sam by the way“ one of the first two said, the tall one, walking into her room with Cas in tow. 

„Yeah why not?“ She replied. 

„ So, uh how did this happen?“

„Fell down the stairs, was an accident.“

He didn´t look like he believed her, but didn´t call her out on it.

„So what´s your name?“ 

„Why do you want to know?“ she shot back. 

„Sorry, you don´t have to tell. Cas, I mean Castiel will look at your ankle and your arm. He is an...he is a doctor one could say.“ Sam said.

 

Cas or Castiel walked over to her, still not saying anything, just staring at her which creeped her a little out. 

„You don´t really talk, do you?“ She asked him. „Not that you have to“ she hurried saying at his somewhat hurt look.

„He is just a little uh shy, I guess“ she said to the tall one, Sam.

Cas reached out to touch her ankle and looked deep in thought until he suddenly looked confused and puzzled.

„Is something wrong? I mean, I think it´s just a little sprained right? It´s not broken because I don´t think..“ she started to say but got interrupted by his deep deep voice.

„I can´t heal it!“ 

„What?“ She said frightened and a little freaked out.

„What do you mean, you can´t heal her? Can´t you just, I don´t know, angel mojo heal it?“

„No Sam, I can not angel mojo heal it.“ 

„but.“ 

„Yeah sorry to interrupt but, what do you mean you can´t heal it? Don´t I just need a bandage or something like that? And Angel mojo?“ 

Both of the men looked at her like they only just realised she was there. 

„Yeah,just rest. Here put this on your ankle, we will be right back.“ And off both of them went. 

„Somebody help me, I am with a couple of crazies“ she said more to herself than anybody seeing that she was on her own. Again.

 

„Sorry that call took a little longer than I expected.“ Chuck was back, getting her back to reality.

„uhm no problem. I hope everything is alright?“ She asks him.

„Oh yeah my uhm friends were just a little worried about my writing. They are really invested in what I write.“ 

„Oh Ok. Your friends must really like your stuff then. That´s great that you have somebody who got your back.“ She remarks.

„Yeah they are alright. A little bossy, sometimes they don´t agree with my writing. And they hate my fans. Like hate hate them.“ That makes her chuckle. „I hope it is alright my uhm publisher he is around here and said he would stop by. You don´t mind, do you?“ 

„No, of course not. I got to go anyways.“ She hurried to say, seeing an oppurtunity to leave. They would be here soon. 

„No“ he said with a little to much force for her liking „I mean you don´t have to leave. He would love to meet you!“

„I really should go. You know school and that stuff.“ 

She gets up ready to leave when suddenly somebody appears beside her, seemingly out of thin air. She lets out a shocked gasp.

„Sorry, didn´t want to scare you.“ The man says. 

He is smaller than Chuck and has brown hair with honeycoloured nearly golden eyes. He smiles at her.

„No, just a little surprised that´s all.“ 

„That´s Gabriel, my uhm publisher.“ He extends his hand waiting for her to shake it.

„Pleasure meeting you, Gabriel, but I really have to go.“

„Oh please stay for a drink. Just one. I promise I don´t bite... hard, that is“ he says with a wink.

She can´t help but feel like she knows him. Before she can help herself she asks him if they knew each other. For a moment he looks serious before he denies it. His features loose all seriousness again and only promise mischief. 

„I can´t shake the feeling that I know you. You were not in a TV show or something like that? Maybe one of those hospital soap operas? I just can´t pinpoint it. I feel like I should know you. Like you are important, I mean clearly you are, being a publisher, but still?“ she says before she sits down on her chair again. Gabriel looks at her intently. 

„Maybe I just have one of those faces, you know. I am pretty sure I would remember you!“ 

She laughs at the wink he shoots her. It is not flirty or anything, just teasing, similar to the one her best friend gave her or her mother when she teased them. Maybe he just reminds her of her best friend.

“Guess you are right. Alright, one drink but then I have to go.“ she states more to herself than to them.

 

One part of her mind warns her about the arrival of her pursuer but the other one, the one that tells her that she should stay and talk to this man and try to find out why he seems so familiar, is stronger and wins. She stays. The little group of three decides to leave the counter in favor for a little boot. Chuck and herself settle down, whereas Gabriel walks back to the counter to get them something to drink.

 

„He seems a little overly excited“ she says to Chuck as she watches Gabriel talk animatedly talk to the broody barkeeper.

„Yeah that´s him. Always on a sugar high. His boyfriend he has his hands full with him.“ 

She looks at Chuck who doesn´t look at her but at Gabriel. 

„He has a boyfriend?“ She asks.

Chuck turns to her a little alarmed when suddenly Gabriel is back with drinks looking more like liquid sugar than anything else. She huffs a laugh asking him how he got the barkeeper to make them for him. He just grins and says it is his secret.

„So what were you talking about? Did you gossip about me? Did little Chucky here tell you all my secrets?“ he asks them jokingly. 

„We actually did talk about you. Chuck just wanted to tell me about your boyfriend“ she says, not seeing the shocked glance both of them exchanged being too invested in trying her sugary drink. 

Noticing the uncomfortable silence she hurries to say „oh God, I don´t have anything against homosexuals really, love them, great people I am all for it, gay rights yeah and all that stuff. What I meant to say was I am happy for you. Was just curious. Happy curious not hateful curious. It´s great to find someone to love. And if they are the same gender, I don´t judge. Really. I am a strong believer in the theory of, you know this greek theory of soulmates, you know the one with the splitted halves and finding their matching half. Who was that who said that? Plato or was it Aristoteles? Don´t know anymore, we should google it....ok now I am rambling. Please stop me or let the floor open and let me vanish in the deeps of hell and never come out again. Oh God, this is embarrassing.“

Both of the men just look at her before they burst into laughter.

„Great that I am entertaining you with my embarrassement“ she says pouting in a mockingly way. „I guess I should go before I embarass myself any more.“

„No, please stay. You still have your drink left.“ Gabriel suceeds to say between his laughter.

„Only if you stop laughing. People are looking.“ she says in a stern voice. 

Both men stop laughing and try to keep a straight face, but the moment they look at each other they burst in laughter again.

„Oh great“ she says sullenly.

„We stop, ok? So let´s talk about something else....lets see? How about what´s your opinion on heterosexuality?“ Gabriel says in a more than jokingly tone.

„Yeah, yeah funny. Don´t mind me, I am laughing on the inside“ She replies. 

Chuck begins talking about his writing trying to change the subject. She half listens to him, more focused on watching Gabriel. He seems so familiar to her, it drives her nuts. He doesn´t seem to notice or just doesn´t bother calling her out on it. Suddenly Chuck begins talking about angels and demons and an apocalypse. Nervously she sips on her drink, knocking it over accidently.

„Sorry didn´t mean to“ she apologizes.

„Don´t worry nothing happened. Are you okay? You look like you have seen a ghost?“ Chuck looks at her worried.

„No I am good. Just clumsy. You were talking about an apocalypse?“ Chuck looks at her for a moment. 

„Um yeah as I was saying, in my books, my two heroes and their angelic side kicks try to stop the apocalypse. They are looking for God, so that he may help them, but when they find him he is somewhat different than they expected. It seems he doesn´t know who he is and with the help of an prophet they try to make him remember. That´s all I have so far. What do you think?“ he asks the two of them.

„It sounds great, Chucky, although I got to veto the side kick part. I am more for their angelic greatness or something like that. Has to be majestic, powerful.“ Gabriel says overly enthusastic. „What do you think, uhm sorry I never got your name.“

„Ely. It´s Ely. It sounds good. Your fans will be pleased. I like the side kick idea. Sounds funny, I mean most angel seem to be a little overly formal you know, like the image they get from the priest preaching in church. But most movies and books make them seem human, like Loki and Bartleby in Dogma. I loved that movie. Although it seems similar to your story now that I think of it. But in their story is God female, trapped in a body and Metatron is funny and laid back, not like he actually is. Love Alan Rickman.“ 

Both men watch her. 

„What?“ She says.

„You talked about Metatron like he is actually alive!“ Gabriel says laughing but in his eyes she can see he is serious. 

„Oh no of course not. I meant theoretical. Angels don´t exist, right?“ She looks at them and hopes they won´t ask more questions. Why did she just think of Metatron as a real person? What is wrong with? She quickly glances at the clock. Two hours have passed. 

´leave´, her mind screams at her, ´leave right now. They are here. Outside. You got to leave.Right NOW´

 

She gets up, not caring about the perplexed looks she receives from her two companions.

“I really got to go. Was fun talking to you. Maybe we will meet each other again.“ 

She doesn´t wait for their reply just wants to get to the backdoor and flee. She walks through the bar and is nearly at backdoor, her freedom within her reach, when suddenly a arm grabs her shoulder. She looks back to see Gabriel. 

„Stay, please.“ He says, no begs of her. She has the feeling he means something totally different than staying in the bar with them. 

„Sorry, I just can´t. Please let me leave.“ she pleads. 

„I can´t. We need you.“ He replies seriously. 

„Don´t. Let go of me, please, Gabriel, please, let go.“ 

 

She gathers all her strenght and breaks free. The exploding lights and the look of betrayal and shock on Gabriels face as he is thrown across the bar, that is just her imagination. After all, she can´t just throw people across rooms, with her mind alone. She leaves the bar just as a black Chevy Impala arrives at the parking lot. Three men get out and look at her. Behind her the bar is dark black no sound is coming from it. 

The men are just standing in front of her. 

„Please, please just let me leave. I don´t know what you want, but it´s not me.“ She yells at them in a panicky voice. 

Castiel, the man with the bluest eyes she ever seen, more blue than any ocean walks in front of her. He starts talking but she doesn´t listen. She is shellshocked hypnotised from his deep gravelling voice. Then she snaps out of it and listen but only hears some words

. „your deed...you have to...your sons...stop before it gets worse...“

She can´t stand it anymore and breaks down right in front of them.

„It´s not me.It´s not me.“ she murmers over and over again. 

 

At first none of the men take a step in her direction, just when the tall one, Sam she reminds herself, tries to take a step to her a voice is heard.

„Stop it. Stop it right now. Look what you did. Broken, let her be.“ Chuck, her saviour, walks up to her with Gabriel in tow. Gabriel looks worse to wear. He has cuts everywhere, his clothes are torn. 

´I did this´she thinks. 

„Ely, Ely look at me“ Chuck tells her.

She looks at him, really looks at him. All around him colours shine brightly. Light, happy colours, not dark sad ones. It soothes her. He tries to help her up and get her to his car when suddenly a voice stops them.

„Chuck, stop, you can´t just take her. We need her. She has to stop it. It is her fault, after all.“ Dean, she thinks, yells at Chuck. 

In the next seconds everything happens at the exact moment. A group of men storm out of the bar, bur they are different than before. They are all dark and twisted. She has a bad feeling, a very bad feeling. 

Someone, maybe Gabriel, yells „Demons“ and than a fight start. Bullets are fired, Sam attacks some with a fight whereas Gabriel and Castiel fight them with swords. The men don´t seem to get but instead more men seem to appear. Suddenly Chuck throws himself in front of her and begins to fall to the floor. She catches him and screams his name. Everybody stops moving and looks at her. Some men just vanish, others open their mouth and black smoke leaves their bodies.

 

„Chuck, oh God Chuck open your eyes. Look at me, please Chuck.Don´t die. Don´t die because of me. Come on, open your eyes.“ she says over and over again, pressing his body to hers. 

She looks up and sees a man coming in her direction. ´Thanatos`she thinks.

„What are you doing here? Why are you here?“ she demands to know from him, still clutching to the body.

„Who is she talking to? There is nothing“ she hears somone, maybe Dean, saying to the others. 

 

„ Thanatos, what are you doing here?“ 

„ I am here to reap. His time has come and you know it, Ely.“ She holds the body closer to her. 

„No, he is still alive. Not him, not now. He still has so much to live for. Please leave him, let´s make a deal. Take me, leave him. I was supposed to die. Please.“ 

„Ely, you know it is his time. You may not realise it right now, but it is his time. You can´t save him. Your time is still not come. You have years and years to wait. Let him go. It didn´t work the last time, it won´t work this time. There are some I can make deals for, but him not. He has to go.And you know it. Let go of him, you just prolong his suffering.“ 

She shakes her head, not trusting her voice to speak. 

„Ely, let go. Please.I knew it would end today perks of being a prophet, I knew I´d die saving you and you can come visit me in heaven, you will come right?“ He tells her between coughs. 

She nods.

„Good“ 

She leans down to kiss his forehead and lets go of him. 

 

The girl lays him on the ground, surprised that he is wet and notices for the first time that it rains. It rains like there is no tomorrow. The four men watch her from the distance, because of the rain she can´t make out for sure but she likes to think that the rain isn´t the only reason their faces are wet. She gets up and walks slowly to the light blue Prius.

 

„Stop, you know we can´t just let you drive away. Please come with us!“ Dean, now she is sure it is Dean, calls out to her, his voice full of defeat.

Without turning back she begins to talk

„I don´t know any of you. I woke up in this strange world, men telling me I am God and being chased, no hunted across the country. Then one of the only men who showed any signs of interest beyond me being potentially God, dies in my arms saving ME, me who you say to be God. No, I don´t want to come with you. I don´t want to help YOU. I don´t know any of you. You are strangers. I just want a warm shower, new clothes and a bed. I won´t go with you, but I will take one of you with me. Gabriel, you come with me. I am sorry, Castiel I don´t want your company or any of the brothers company at the moment. But Gabriel...I don´t know...I feel familiarity. He will come with me. I will come to you when I feel ready to look at you again. It´s not that I blame you, I know it is my fault but...I don´t know....Oh God....You all see me as something I am not....I just need time to think, please. Please let me do this my way.“ 

She turns around facing them.

„Gabriel, will you come with me, please?“ 

Gabriel nods at her, turns around to face Sam. He pulls him down for a kiss and whispers something in his ear. Sam just nods and lets go of him, clearly a little embarrassed by the PDA.

„She knows and is okay with it. You should have heard her speech“ Gabriel can´t help but say, making her smile for a moment making her remember Chucks laughter. He walks up to her takes her by he hand and leads her to the Prius.

 

She settles herself in the passengers seat, not listening to the three men arguing with each other. Gabriel turns on the engine and the radio. Now the car is filled with music and the noise of the rain against its window and the car roof.

„ I am sorry“ she says breaking the silence between them.

„It´s not you fault“ he say to her, but doesn´t look at her instead keeps his gaze at the road.

„No, I mean I am sorry for the thing in the bar. I didn´t want to hurt you. I still don´t really know what happened but I think it was my fault.“ He finally turns to look at her.

„It´s not your fault. Not what happened in the bar or after. You didn´t know. I felt it the moment you did it. Pure panic. Nothing you did, you remember, is your fault, other stuff, suff you may never remember you did in the past, Yeah I guess that´s your sole fault“ he says with a cheeky grin. 

„Bastard“ she swears.

„Oh I am wounded.“ he says clutching his heart dramatically. She huffs a laugh.

„I am so tired of it all. Like I didn´t sleep for an eternity.“ 

Nobody but the rain and the radio make a sound.. She looks outside the window watching the rain fall. 

„Couple of months ago, the only worry in my life was to pass my exams and find a job or maybe university. Then after a shit day, an even worse evening and a terrible night I wake in this crazy world, where people seem to believe I am something divine. Oh God, how come I am in such a mess?“ she murmurs more to herself than to anybody else. 

Sooner than later, she was lost in her own thoughts.

 

This time nobody came to her for a couple of hours. She spent the time lying on the bed, imaging what time it is and what she would do right now. Back home. Would she be still at school or already home? Did her friend notice her missing, did she try to call her? 

Her door opened again. Sam, the tall one, walked up to her with something to eat for her. 

„I thought maybe you are hungry, I mean, Do you eat?“ 

She looked at him like if he was crazy, not that she didn´t think he was but still. 

„Yeah , of course I eat. I am human, after all.“ 

„Right, here you go.“

„Thank you!“ she said, just because they held her captive didn´t mean that she had to stop being polite. 

„So what really happened to your ankle and your arm?“ 

„Like I said I fell down some stairs, stupid accident really. And what d you care? Do you always try to bond with your prisoners?“ She looked at him, her eyes flashing with anger. 

„Look, we are sorry for all, maybe you are right and this is all a great misunderstanding and we all go our seperate ways, but Cas he seems to be sure of it. The moment we know exactly if he is wrong, you are free to go.“ 

„And if he is right? What will happen then?“ 

Not that she did believe she was God, but crazy people seldom listen to reason. He took a deep breath 

„I don´t know, sorry“

She ate in silence with him watching her. 

„So what was that about angel mojo? Just curious“ She asked after finishing her meal.

„Cas, he is an angel. Normally, he can heal people by touching them, but you seem to be the exeption.“ 

She looked at him disbelievingly, a little freaked out but tried not to let it show.

„So an angel, right of course. Lucky me, I guess, being special. But don´t worry, it doesn´t hurt that much anyways. I´ve had worse.“ 

„Accidents, I assume.“ He said with an arched eyebrow. 

„Yeah, I am really clumsy. Look, can I call my parents? I promise I won´t tell them anything. Just want to check in, so they know everything is ok, please!“ 

He looked at her with apologetic eyes,

„I am sorry, That is not possible. We don´t really know who else knows what you are. It is better, if you don´t call them. Safer for them.“ 

„Knew you would say no, but it was worth a try. Can I at least use your bathroom, because I sure as hell won´t use a bottle.“ 

He nodded one and led her to the bathroom.

„I assume you wait outside. Don´t want me to run around here, right?“

With a shake of her head she walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She turned the shower on, took of her clothes and stepped into it. For the first time in a long time she let herself go and cried in the safety of the shower, hoping nobody would hear her cry. Because of her still hurting ankle, she couldn´t stay as long as she wanted in the shower. While getting dressed again, and wishing she had fresh clothes to change in, she thought of her options. Convincing someone not to be God should be easy as pie, although one never knew with fanatics. And these people were fanatics, seeing that one of them even thought he was an angel. Maybe she should talk with the craziest one, the allegedly angel, at first and then the other ones. 

 

As expected the tall one, Sam she reminded herself, was standing outside the bathroom, waiting for her.If he heard her cry, he didn´t show and she was grateful for it.

„So I thought about the whole stuff, you know, me being God and helping to stop the apocalypse, and I think I want to talk to the cra- uhm I mean the angel. And could I maybe get some different clothes, you know to change into?“

Sam nodded at her and closed the door behind her. 

 

After a couple of minutes Castiel, the alleged angel and the still nameless man entered her room. She really should stop thinking of her prison as her room. 

„So I thought he is he only one who thinks, I mean, he is the angel, not you.“ She said to the man without a name. 

„Yeah, he is the angel, I just wanted to uhm to introduce myself. Hadn´t got a chance until now. I am Dean“ 

He held out his hand for her to shake. She took it, realising that he waited for her to say her name. 

„You know who I am, seeing that you kidnapped me, or do you kidnap random people without knowing their name?“ She couldn´t help but say. 

Not that it didn´t feel good to say but still it was rude, but being locked in some room didn´t deserve any politeness anymore. 

„uhm I will leave the two of you to talk. See you later.“ Dean said and left the room, a little faster than one would expect.

„So you are an angel?“ She said.

Nothing but silence and weird staring was her answer. 

„Okay, I know you are shy but the staring is creeping me a little out.“ 

He looked away, a little hurt at her words, now staring at the floor.

„I didn´t mean to hurt your feelings.“ She said, feeling like the worst human being making an innocent person and maybe angel, feel bad. „You can stare all you wan if it makes you happy.“ she huffs in defeat.

„Since you won´t talk, to me at least, I will. I am not God, ok? If I were I wouldn´t be here believe me. I am sure God is somewhere else, waiting for you to find him and he will help you, but it isn´t me. Maybe he is in a coma like in Dogma, have you seen Dogma?“ 

Silence 

„I take that as a no. I tell you, I am no God. Really. I don´t even know how to show you that I am not Him, I mean I have no powers or anything of that sort. And am I not a little to young to be him?“ 

„The amulet. It says that you are God. It doesn´t lie. You have to help us stop the apocalypse. Michael and Lucifer need to be stopped. It is your duty to stop them. Humans don´t have to die. There has to be“ 

„Stop. I am not God. I can´t help you, please believe me“

„The amulet“ 

„This amulet, it must be wrong. I mean come on, I don´t even look like God do I?“

 

„Do you think I am, you know...Him?“ 

Her question breaks the silence in the car. Gabriel looks at her with something akin to pity in his eyes. 

„I believe Cassy when he tells that the amulett was hot in your presence. And I believe you, when you say you are not. But I also believe that you are more than you think. I mean, I felt you there back in the bar. You may be both. You just have to make a choice maybe, I don´t know. I am just an archangel turned trickster turned teamplayer.“

„But, I can´t be Him. I am not old and have a beard and am not wise or anything like that.“

„Human tend to have a strange image of their creator, although technically they shouldn´t even make an image of him. Why they tend to make Him, him for a lack of a better word at the moment, into an old man with a longe white beard is beyond me. All the men in the Old Testament have long white beards it seems.I mean, yeah sure Moses had a beard but it wasn´t that white and long, more greyish and short. In the mind of most humans, God is an old man, wise and benevolent. Most forget that he did destroy cities and let humans drown. He had his moodswings, one could say. And I know that there are those who think God is a woman. I guess, these moodswings did the deal for some. Nobody had thought of the possibility that God may was a child. A child who created all of us, humans and angels, plants and animals, because he was lonely. God is life. Death his only companion. As time passes he may have created stuff and made himself more friends. But like all good things, they have to end. His creations had their own notions how heaven and earth should be. Some felt unloved, tossed aside by their Father in favor for a new toy. They rebelled, fell. Some just left, without a trace, not wanting to deal with any of heavens politics. Time went by and nobody noticed that some just left. Nobody noticed that some rooms were empty and that they weren´t seen by anyone for cenuries. Life went on, even with the missing of some. But now, now that Michael and Lucifer, earth and heaven are fighting, those missing ones are deemed important. To be honest, I don´t know if you are God, the creator, my father but I don´t really count. Those three we left behind, those three believe you are. You give them hope, hope that they can change the whole damn thing and avert the apocalypse. Maybe that´s the best thing that happened to them in a long tim.“ 

The car is filled with silence again.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope the whole change of perspective and time wasn´t too complicated to understand. As you probably noticed the story is heavily influenced by Dogma for I know there are a lot of Dofma references but let´s face it, Dogma is a great movie, love Loki and Bartleby! And Alan Rickman is the far nicer Metatron! The ending is as open as it could possible be! I know that but right now I like it. Maybe, I will write another chapter explaining what will happen or I will leave it like it is. I don´t know. Right now I should really finish my other stories and study a lot for university. But maybe in a month or so I will post another chapter! 
> 
> Thanks for reading it! Hope you liked it! Every kudos, bookmark or/and comment will be appreciated and loved!


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